Tuesday, 22 November 2011

The Lana Del Dilemma

Have you heard that 'Video Games' track by Lana Del Rey?

Yes, unfortunately.

Why 'unfortunately'? It's a great piece of brooding pop if you ask me.

That may be so but have you seen the girl's lips?

What's that got to do with her music?

But they're huge!

I don't think they're big enough to affect her singing voice though, do you?

That's not the point. The point is they're fake, like she is.

That's a bit of a leap to make. But you still haven't answered why her enhanced lips make her music any less worthy?

Look, her videos are all made up of gritty cine film footage and her songs seem to be more authentic than your average pop songs but the fact she sings them through huge Botoxed lips shows that really she's just as fake as the rest of the pop industry. And she's got a false name.

A stage name you mean? Nothing new there is there?

No, but her management made it up for her.

Like many famous people's agents over the years? A stage name is hardly a new concept now is it?

Well, no, but with the lips as well, how can anyone take her seriously? Anyway, she came out of nowhere, it all seems so staged.

You mean she got millions of YouTube hits in a very short amount of time?


Like Keyboard Cat


Does that mean it's only OK to have a viral YouTube hit if you haven't had Botox? 

Well, no.

And you happen to be a cat? 

Look, you're being ridiculous now. All I mean is that it's very suspicious that she's just appeared on the scene from nothing.

So you think she faked her YouTube hits as well? Or perhaps her management sit there on YouTube every day bumping up the figures?!

Look, I'm not saying that.

What are you saying then?

I just don't like her.

And her music?

No. Well, I liked her music until I found out the whole back story.

What, that an American singer has had Botox, had the gall to come up with a stage name like thousands before her and happens to have had a huge viral YouTube hit?

It doesn't sound as bad when you put it like that. But the lips annoy me.

So surely you're the one being superficial and fake? Like anyone else it's surely her choice to do what she wants with her body? But you believe the fact she's done so makes her music invalid?

Well, yes.

So why don't people seem to hate Dolly Parton or Cher as much?

I don't know. There's always Michael Jackson.

Let's not go there. He had slightly more than a lip job.


So what about Lana Del Rey's music? You said you liked it but you were put off by her image or your perception of her personality?

Well, yeah.

Are Liam Gallagher, Van Morrison, Kanye West or Elton John nice people?

Not from what I've read in the media.

And does your perception of their personalities affect your enjoyment of their music?

That's different.



So would you say 'Video Games' is no longer a good song?

That's not what I said.

So what did you say?

That... Oh, I give up.

Originally posted on http://blog.ianroullier.com on 22 November 2011.