Funeral Songs

I was at a club night run by some friends recently when the DJ started playing a certain track. “I’ve always thought I wanted this tune played at my funeral,” I turned to my friend and said. He looked a bit bemused or maybe uncomfortable (after all, it’s hard to tell in a dark nightclub) that I should mention something so morbid but it got me thinking. While there are so many people out there opting for ‘Angels’ by Robbie Williams or Celine Dion’s ‘My Heart Will Go On’ as their swansong, I started thinking, ‘Why not choose something a bit different?’

So, while it may seem a bit morbid and I hope to remain on this mortal coil for a good 100 years longer, I came up with this list of potential songs I’d like played at my funeral. What would yours be?

1. Joe Smooth - ‘Promised Land’ This was the track that came on in the club. It’s very cheesy and about “angels up above” and may well have been written about Ecstasy (the drug) rather than ecstasy (the heavenly type) but it should bring a smile to people’s faces.

2. Future Sound of London - ‘Papua New Guinea’ In my opinion, the best dance track ever made. A bold claim but it’s my opinion and I’m standing by it. It’s danceable but uplifting, pumping but mellow and moves both feet and souls.

3. Aphex Twin – Untitled (also known as ‘Rhubarb’) A great believer that music without words can move people just as much, if not more than, a song with set, concrete lyrics, this is one of Richard James’ most beautiful ambient compositions. A track that proves you don’t need a song about love, angels or bunny rabbits to make people well up.

4. The Orb - ‘Blue Room’ This is a bit of a cheeky one but just as the Orb’s Dr Alex Paterson decided to take the piss by releasing a track that lasted just three seconds less than the legal 40 minute limit for a track to qualify for the singles chart (this rule has since changed several times), the full-length ‘Blue Room’ would preclude the need for any tributes, eulogies or any other words to be spoken during the service. Or for anything else to happen for that matter. The congregation could always sing along from their hymn sheets: “Owooowowooowowooowowooowawa”!

5. Moby – ‘Thousand’ A bit like playing Motorhead’s ‘Ace of Spades’, this 1,000 bpm monster is guaranteed to wake people up and should weed out anyone who’s just turned up to make up the numbers. A definite Marmite moment to split the crowd between ‘sitters’ and ‘quitters’.

Earning the right to be difficult

So, it’s been a while since my last entry – apologies for keeping you hanging and festive cheer to one and all. Here at last is the follow up to the ‘Particular or pretentious?’ entry (see previous entry) about difficult interviewees I’ve encountered over the years.

First there was the minimal US techno act that I was on the verge of interviewing. Setting the interview up was a long protracted process. In the meantime I was sent their music, which frankly was so minimal as to be virtually non-existent. Every track on the album used the same sounds and the 'evolution' of each track involved such minute changes that only the most fanatical techno geek or sound engineer could have picked up on them.

It’s always hard to interview someone whose music doesn’t inspire you but you can still do your job as a journalist and find out what makes them and their music tick. When the editor then told me, "They’re renowned for being a bit difficult," I thought it over long and hard and wondered on what grounds could they afford to be difficult? Their music is bland, directionless and non-eventful! I mean, The Aphex Twin AKA Richard James is renowned for being difficult, contrary and frankly a bit of a shit in interviews but have you heard his music? He's earned the right! I turned down the interview in the end. I am sure they would have sensed I didn’t care much for their music so left the interview for someone that did.

More difficult interviewee stories in a few days time. In the meantime, Happy New Year and a fantastic 2010 to you.

Useless music fact #8: So well done to Rage Against The Machine for grabbing the Christmas Number 1 spot from the evil clutches of Simon Cowell and his (s)hit factory that continues to leave bland, monotonous skidmarks on the collective pants of popular music. For those of you lucky enough to hear RATM's live performance on BBC Radio Five Live, doesn't it make you wonder how stupid people are to think they could ask a band to play a track with the line "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me" without the 'sweary bit' and expect them to obey orders? They managed four 'fucks' before being faded out. Anyway, the fact... When 'Killing In The Name' was first released in 1993, Bruno Brookes played the completely uncensored version on his Top 40 chart rundown on BBC (again!) Radio One. Is this the first time one band has managed to turn airwaves blue twice? Was Bruno Brookes an anarchist hiding under a fluffy mullet? If this isn't a good enough useless fact for you, Bruno also went out with Anthea Turner for a while, but was cruelly usurped by fellow Radio One DJ Peter Powell as Turner's number one on her wheels of steel. The shame!

Originally posted on http://blog.ianroullier.com on 30 December 2009.

Intelligence and appreciation

The recent, bizarre Mike Patton gig brought up some thoughts that often whirr around my head when I’ve experienced something ‘out there’, ‘challenging’ or ‘avant garde’.

There’s much room when it comes to high art for people to scoff at anyone who criticises it and dismiss that listener’s opinion as being indicative of their lack of intelligence. This is merely narrow-minded arrogance though. It is your right not to like something, just as it is other people’s right to like anything they want to. Whether this applies to modern art or music or architecture or literature, everyone is entitled to an opinion even if it doesn’t tally with the accepted wisdom of the majority. I have as much right to say that some of the Aphex Twin’s music is unlistenable, self-indulgent rubbish as I do to say that some of his music is inspired, beautiful, challenging and verging on musical genius.

Anyone that denies someone else that right, whether it’s someone dismissing someone’s opinion as ‘arty farty crap’ or someone dismissing another’s opinion as they ‘clearly don’t have the intelligence to grasp the inherent meaning’ of a creative work, are merely closed-minded snobs (whether inverted or not). It pays to remember that their opinion is no more valid than anyone else’s and that whether you prefer reading Dostoyevsky to watching the X Factor or like going to a football match rather than going to the opera, your preferences make you no more or less stupid than the next person.

Useless music fact #5: The Aphex Twin said he used to dream a lot of his music while snoozing, which is exactly how Sir Paul McCartney came up with 'Yesterday'. The Aphex Twin may have been lying though, as that has always been one of his favourite pastimes.

Originally posted on http://blog.ianroullier.com on 6 July 2009.